First Class Thieves

A weak con man panics when he learns he's going to prison for fraud. He hires a mysterious martial arts guru who helps transform him into a martial arts expert who can fight off inmates who want to hurt or love him.

After escaping from prison, Joe and Terry go on a crime spree, robbing banks through Oregon and California in order to finance their scheme for a new life south of the border. Unfortunately, things get more complicated when they meet Kate, who runs into them with her car. She joins the bandits on their cross-country spree, and eventually she steals something, too: their hearts.

In Venice, a millionaire hires an actor to help him prank three greedy exes into thinking he's dying and leaving his fortune to one of them.

Wrongly accused of physically abusing a fellow actor, starving thespians Arthur and Maurice find themselves pursued by the law aboard a cruise ship.

Three criminals plan to break out of prison the day before their release in order to carry out a daring jewel robbery, intending to establish the perfect alibi by returning to jail afterwards. First however they must get out, a task made more difficult by a new, stricter prison officer.

Three manic idiots—a lawyer, a cab driver and a handyman—team up to run a ballet company to fulfil the will of a millionaire. Stooge-like antics result as the trio try to outwit the rich widow and her scheming big-shot lawyer, who also wants to run the ballet.

To escape from a mobster, businessman Gaetano Proclo orders a cab driver to take him to a place where he can't be found. Unfortunately for Gaetano, the place turns out to be a gay bathhouse.

An eccentric, if not charming Southern professor and his crew pose as a band in order to rob a casino, all under the nose of his unsuspecting landlord – a sharp old woman.

Angelo "Snaps" Provolone made his dying father a promise on his deathbed: he would leave the world of crime and become an honest businessman. Despite having no experience in making money in a legal fashion, Snaps sets about to keep his promise.

The boys get arrested for robbing an ATM machine and spend 18 months in jail, upon release they decide to pull off "The Big Dirty", a plan to steal a large amount of coins because they are untraceable and quit their life of crime forever.

The mafia's Paul Vitti is back in prison and will need some serious counseling when he gets out. Naturally, he returns to his analyst Dr. Ben Sobel for help and finds that Sobel needs some serious help himself as he has inherited the family practice, as well as an excess stock of stress.

Five oddball criminals planning a bank robbery rent rooms on a cul-de-sac from an octogenarian widow under the pretext that they are classical musicians.