Season 3

2004-02-20

In the first episode of series 3, EastEnders, Back to Reality, Gender Swap, Footballers' Wives (Chardonnay's funeral), Coronation Street (the baby Patience scenario), Dirty Laundry, Safe As Houses and Faking It come under scrutiny. Now that we know The Bill's Reg Hollis is a Tears For Fears fan, Harry shows us a preview of what will happen in the police drama next week: Reg Hollis singing songs by the band while on duty arresting criminals. Also includes ""I'm an Insect: Get Me Out of Here!"", a take on ""I'm a Celebrity: Get Me Out of Here"" set in Jordan's stomach, a search to find a replacement for Robert Kilroy-Silk (including one where Harry dressed as Coronation Street's Blanche Hunt wearing a dodgy looking wig and big goggly eyes comes on saying ""He's a loony and she's a man?"" referring to Roy and Hayley Cropper), a fight between Davina McCall and Cilla Black now that Love on a Saturday Night has replaced Blind Date and all the usual things.

2004-02-27

In TV Burp this week, Heartbeat, Club Reps, BBC 3 documentary Who Rules the Roost, Emmerdale, Coronation Street and Hollyoaks are among the shows that fall under scrutiny. Other things include Shannon's nose job in Footballers' Wives, Robert Vaughn's appearance in BBC 1 drama Hustle, a Hood (the villain from Thunderbirds) look-alike in The Carrot or the Stick and ‘Extra of the Week' about an often seen extra in The Woolpack in Emmerdale. Harry also discusses other extras in the soaps. Plus there's Eastbourne Uncovered (a feature on the over 60s answer to Ibiza), ‘At Home With Peter Andre and Jordan' showing us what they're getting up to, a fight between Coronation Street's Hayley Cropper and Miriam (off There's Something About Miriam) to see who's the better transsexual and all the regular things.

2004-03-05

In Harry Hill's TV Burp this week, current TV shows like Coronation Street, Emmerdale, EastEnders, Casualty, Heartbeat and The Bill as well as documentaries such as The Badness of King George IV, There's Something About Miriam, The Divine Michelangelo and Britain's Worst Cook. Other things include ‘There's Something About Jesus' (a spoof-take on There's Something About Miriam), a fight between Peter Jackson and Mel Gibson to see who's the better film director, various comic sketches with Jeremy Clarkson and Quentin Willson and all the usual madness.

2004-03-12

Jokes and gags this time revolve around Heartbeat, Club Reps, Learner Drivers and Casualty. Harry spotted a new character in Coronation Street: a gas canister with gauges that makes it look like it has human features. We also have a sketch on a day in the life of this gas canister and ‘Cooking with the Slaters' (from EastEnders). Harry also wonders who those people are in the Emmerdale title sequence as none of them are characters in the soap. Plus there's a fight between James Hewitt and Kieran Fallon and all the regular madness.

2004-03-19

Gags and jokes this time include a Woody Allen look-alike in EastEnders, a David Bowie look-alike in Learner Drivers, impersonations in Emmerdale, Frank's death in Footballers' Wives, a new character called Clops in The Bill and a drink called Stelberg in Coronation Street. From Channel 4 documentary Who Kidnapped Shergar?, Harry makes fun of the man in charge of the investigation, Chief Superintendent James Murphy (the fact that he wasn't very knowledgeable about what was going on and relied on sources like the news to provide evidence). We also have a sketch called ‘Murphy and Horse' (featuring John ""Huggy"" McCrirrick) where James Murphy and Shergar go around fighting crime. There's also a fight between Paul Michael Glaser/David Soul and Ben Stiller/Owen Wilson to celebrate the release of the new Starsky and Hutch movie to see which version of the 1970s police series is better: old or new and all the usual malarkey.

2004-03-26

This time on Harry Hill's TV Burp, stuff ranges from an Avid Merrion (from Bo' Selecta!) look-alike in Heartbeat, a log with shades on making it look like rapper Jay-Z in EastEnders, face transplants and disappearing patients in Holby City, how Fred Elliott tells you what meat he's eating in Coronation Street, dramas such as Footballers' Wives and Murder City and factual shows such as If and A Life of Grime. From documentary Noah's Ark, where Jeremy Bowen (off Breakfast Time) attempts to prove or disprove the bible story, Harry creates his own version: ‘Goldilocks and the Three Bears' where he pretends to be Bowen and attempts to prove or disprove the fairy tale. Plus we have a fight between Bowen and God and all the regular malarkey.

2004-04-02

This time on TV Burp, Harry makes fun of people sitting still and being silent in the soaps (sarcastically saying that everyone is kept busy) as well as programmes like Footballers' Wives, Coronation Street, EastEnders (a shop called Cost Mart), Emmerdale, The Bill, Club Reps, Taxi Nights and documentaries such as Dragons Alive, Ice Alert and I Met Osama bin Laden. Harry also creates his own ‘If' documentary: ""If… TV Continues to Get Worse"" predicting events and shows in the far future. The fight this time is between the Archbishop of Canterbury and the Footballers' Wives to see who is better. As it is the last episode of the series, the credits are displayed against images of Fred Elliott's face.