Julian Orchard

Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau is dead. At least that is what the world—and Charles Dreyfus—believe when a dead body is discovered in Clouseau's car after being shot off the road. Naturally, Clouseau knows differently and, taking advantage of not being alive, sets out to discover why an attempt was made on his life.

Tom Canty is a poor English boy who bears a remarkable resemblance to Edward, Prince of Wales and son of King Henry VIII. The two boys meet and decide to play a joke on the court by dressing in each other's clothes, but the plan goes awry when they're separated and each must live the other's life.

After spending decades living in the shadow of his more famous and successful sibling, Consulting Detective Sigerson Holmes is called upon to help solve a crucial case that leads him on a hilarious trail of false identities, stolen documents, secret codes... and exposed backsides.

Prince Edward wants to marry for love, but the King and court of the Kingdom of Euphrania are anxious for the Prince to wed no matter what. When the Prince meets Cinderella at a ball, he's sure she's the one, and when she loses her slipper upon exiting the dance, the Prince is determined to find and marry her.

Henry VIII has just married Marie of Normandy, and is eager to consummate their marriage. Unfortunately for Henry, she is always eating garlic, and refuses to stop. Deciding to get rid of her in his usual manner, Henry has to find some way of doing it without provoking war with Marie's cousin, the King of France. Perhaps if she had an affair...

Celebrating twenty years of classic Carry On films, two of the films’ best-loved stars, Kenneth Williams and Barbara Windsor return to Pinewood film studios to unwrap some rib-tickling moments from the series. From the original, military mayhem of Carry On Sergeant, through to the really ancient archaeological gags of Carry On Behind, our saucy hosts get their titters out for this laugh-a-second gallop through the most successful series of British comedy films ever made.

An unscrupulous property developer wants to flatten the street to make way for new buildings. Householder George Roper is happy to take the offered money and run but his wife Mildred and their lodgers join with other residents to take a stand and keep things as they are.

The year is 1904; the setting is Cockshute Towers, one of England's stateliest homes. When the household is threatened with bankruptcy, both the masters and the servants are prepared to co-operate in trying to find some cash - after all, most of them are enjoying liaisons of one kind or another among themselves, and none have any desire to give up their rewarding way of life...

While a private detective is away on vacation, his not particularly bright assistant takes it upon himself to "solve" a case that comes in. Complications ensue.

The deputy manager of a London bank has worked out a way to rob the branch of £200,000. When he becomes involved with the attractive Lady Dorset he decides to go ahead with his plan. He needs her help and that of her philandering spendthrift husband. It all comes down to a matter of trust.

The legendary Sid James stars as the head of a chaotic household in this movie spin-off from the hit ITV sitcom. Sid Abbott and his best mate Trevor (Peter Butterworth) enjoy home-brewing. Plans to turn their hobby into a profitable, if illicit, sideline come unstuck when a Customs and Excise officer (Terry Scott) moves in next door! What’s more, Sid’s outspoken and madcap family hinder neighbourly relations even further.

Entirely silent, with a musical score, sound effects and incoherent mutterings, the story revolves around a weekend gathering at the decaying country home of the eccentric and lewd General Futtock (Ronnie Barker) and the series of saucy mishaps between the staff (Michael Hordern plays the lecherous butler) and his guests.

On his death bed, The King orders his kingdom divided into two halves, the Kingdom of Jelly and the Kingdom of Cucumbers. Before the king even dies, Prince Frederick declares himself "King of Cucumbers" and Prince Marmaduke becomes the “King of Jelly”.

A missing formula, a defecting Eastern European scientist kidnapped, car chases, foot chases, air chases, the British secret service, and a couple of American tourists caught right in the middle.

Two English kids meet their friend Anoop Singh and his baby elephant Ranee. The nasty circus owner wants the elephant for his circus and the children decide that they must prevent this.

Bertram Oliphant 'Bo' West wants to clear his unjustly smeared reputation, so he joins the Foreign Legion—with Simpson his manservant in tow. But the fort they get posted to is full of eccentric legionnaires, and there's trouble brewing with the locals too. Unbeknown to Bo, his lady love has followed him in disguise.

Amidst the French revolution, Citizen Robespierre is beheading the aristocracy! When word gets to England, noblemen Sir Rodney Ffing and Lord Darcy Pue take it upon themselves to aid their French counterparts. Sir Rodney is a master of disguise, and becomes 'The Black Fingernail' scourge of Camembert and Bidet, leaders of the French secret police.

An accident in the butchers shop leads Norman Pitkin and Mr Grimsdale to the hospital where, after causing the normal amount of chaos, Pitkin finds Lindy, a little girl who hasn't spoken or smiled since her parents were killed in an aeroplane accident. Pitkin decides to help.

John Sawyer, once an eminent barrister, has slid into a life of cynicism and drunkenness since his wife left him. When his daughter's boyfriend is accused of murder, Sawyer decides to try to pull himself together and defend him in court.

A former burglar trying to go straight joins a rehabilitation scheme using much the same methods as AA. Through the process, he takes work as a department store Santa, where the endless parade of goods and money, not to mention the pretty young shop hands have him like a moth to a flame in no time flat.

Francis Bigger, a notorious charlatan who tours the country lecturing on the subject of mind over matter, slips off the platform in the middle of his performance and ends up in hospital under the care of Dr Tinkle. The hospital is about to enter a period of total chaos.

Norman Pitkin wants to be a policeman like his father was, but he fails the height test (amongst others). One day he gets out his father's old uniform and "walks the beat". This leads to a level of chaos that only Pitkin could cause

When Dexter Munro and his new wife Juliet get married, they decide to escape Juliet's meddling father by buying a rundown cottage and doing it up themselves. But when the cottage proves to be more ramshackle than they thought, and the scale of the repairs needed far out of their budget, the newlyweds are forced into calling on Juliet's father after all. Before long he's employed incompetent builder Josh Wicks, and the situation goes from bad to worse.

Two cadets are set an outrageous and wacky initiation test to prove their suitability for officer training.

An errant cricket ball causes mayhem as the gang try to recover it.

A man attempts to deal with the bevy of naked beauties who have been bothering his family for generations.

A young man will inherit a huge fortune--8 million pounds--but to qualify, he must spend a million pounds in just two months. Easy to do? That's what you think!

Heironymus Merkin is an internationally successful singer approaching middle age who retells his life story in a series of production numbers on a seashore in front of his two toddlers and aged mother. Merkin's promiscuous relationships with women are explored, particularly Polyester Poontang and the adolescent Mercy Humppe. Merkin is constantly surrounded by a Satan-like procurer, Goodtime Eddie Filth, and an angelic 'Presence' who interrupts Merkin's biography with cryptic Borscht Belt-level jokes to denote births and deaths in Merkin's life. Newley periodically steps out of character to complain about his 'Merkin' role with an unseen director, two screenwriters, the film's producers and a trio of blasé movie critics who are turned off by the story's eroticism and lack of plot.

A private eye is hired to go undercover at a health farm, but before he can find out why his client is murdered.

Maud has two men in her life - George and Errol. In an effort to decide which boyfriend to keep, she visits a clairvoyant who tells her that her ideal partner may, in fact, be a third person she has yet to meet. Recorded in a single studio, with minimalist sets.

Half-fae-half-mortal shepherd Strephon wants to wed shepherdress Phyllis, but, although she reciprocates his feelings, she has a dilemma — she is so beautiful that all of the House of Lords, as well as her guardian, the Lord Chancellor, are also desirous of marriage.

Pickwick is a British television musical made by the BBC in 1969 and based on the 1963 stage musical Pickwick, which in turn was based on the 1837 novel The Pickwick Papers written by Charles Dickens. It stars Harry Secombe as Samuel Pickwick and Roy Castle as Sam Weller. This television production was based on the stage musical Pickwick which had been a commercial success. It was adapted for the screen by James Gilbert and Jimmy Grafton. The musical had premiered in the West End in 1963, again with Harry Secombe in the lead role. Running at 90 minutes and made in colour, the TV musical again had lyrics by Leslie Bricusse and a score by Cyril Ornadel. The book was by Wolf Mankowitz and it was directed by Terry Hughes. The programme was first transmitted on 11 June 1969 and again on 26 December 1969. One of the better known songs from the score is "If I Ruled the World". The cast of this production differed somewhat from that of the stage musical.

Interpol detective Caesar Smith tracks robbers of the Royal Mint van. He travels to Rio de Janeiro, Rome and Paris and establishes the guilt of a London coffee importer.