Lily Blunsom-Washbrook

This film was made with £500, a super 8 camera and a lot of heartbreak. I’ve known my mum was dying for sometime now and been completely paralysed by it. Should I cry? No, because I’ll never stop. Do I try to fix it? No, because filmmakers can’t cure a terminal illness. Do I run away? No, one cannot abandon what is already within. Nothing led me through the pain to an answer. To a solution. But how can you live with a leaking heart? I realised I had to metabolise the grief through processing. So I picked up my camera and got to work. This film is the fruit of that process. It is a straight 8, meaning it was made with one roll of 8mm film, no editing. The sound design was completed separately, without ever seeing the digitalised film. Like grief it’s clunky in places, too clean in others and I wish I’d had longer. I wish we could always have longer.

An aspiring reality star’s quest for fame collides with true love and leads him on a path of destruction.

This film was made with £500, a super 8 camera and a lot of heartbreak. I’ve known my mum was dying for sometime now and been completely paralysed by it. Should I cry? No, because I’ll never stop. Do I try to fix it? No, because filmmakers can’t cure a terminal illness. Do I run away? No, one cannot abandon what is already within. Nothing led me through the pain to an answer. To a solution. But how can you live with a leaking heart? I realised I had to metabolise the grief through processing. So I picked up my camera and got to work. This film is the fruit of that process. It is a straight 8, meaning it was made with one roll of 8mm film, no editing. The sound design was completed separately, without ever seeing the digitalised film. Like grief it’s clunky in places, too clean in others and I wish I’d had longer. I wish we could always have longer.

This film was made with £500, a super 8 camera and a lot of heartbreak. I’ve known my mum was dying for sometime now and been completely paralysed by it. Should I cry? No, because I’ll never stop. Do I try to fix it? No, because filmmakers can’t cure a terminal illness. Do I run away? No, one cannot abandon what is already within. Nothing led me through the pain to an answer. To a solution. But how can you live with a leaking heart? I realised I had to metabolise the grief through processing. So I picked up my camera and got to work. This film is the fruit of that process. It is a straight 8, meaning it was made with one roll of 8mm film, no editing. The sound design was completed separately, without ever seeing the digitalised film. Like grief it’s clunky in places, too clean in others and I wish I’d had longer. I wish we could always have longer.