Auntie Mame

Once upon a time, a tall, dark and handsome hunk fell in love with a fair-haired, twinky witch. With a twitch of his perky prick, the naughty little witch and his wicked twin-cousin raise sexual mayhem in and around 6969 Morning Glory Circle. This leads to a flying dildo, a Latino warlock popping the cherry of the nosy neighbor boy on roller-skates, a visit from an S&M witch doctor, workplace sex on a desk, and a poolside threeway with a billionaire client and an apprentice wizard, who is masquerading as the pool boy. In the end, love conquers all - until the mother of all mothers pays a visit.

A movie 169 years in the making. Oliver Twist, the Artful Dodger, and Fagin. The lovers will love Fagin's waifs. Plus, there's Mr. Bumble and the hairy-chested Detective Brownlow. It's 2007, the location is South Beach FL, Fagin is a pimp and his boys are whores. But that co-dependent bitch Nancy still gets it in the end! - Written by Peter Z Pan