Ali Keller

So wrapped up in creating the perfect holiday memory at their Feast of the Seven Fishes, an Italian American family completely miss the fact that one of their own does not intend to stick around for the dinner...or at all.

He's bald. Well, no, he's *going* bald. He still has hair. On like, the sides. Does that count? It counts, right? Maybe? Either way, he’s pathetic. And he’s getting old.

So wrapped up in creating the perfect holiday memory at their Feast of the Seven Fishes, an Italian American family completely miss the fact that one of their own does not intend to stick around for the dinner...or at all.

He's bald. Well, no, he's *going* bald. He still has hair. On like, the sides. Does that count? It counts, right? Maybe? Either way, he’s pathetic. And he’s getting old.