Jack Lionel Bohn

In this parody of Grand Hotel, despite a dying man's efforts to enjoy his final days, a jewel thief trying to comfort a great dancer, and a big business deal in progress, there are still those who say that "nothing ever happens here."

A poor shoemaker struggles to send his son to college, where he becomes a football star.

Alan Holt is a radio expert who has invented a death ray machine for the U.S. government. International spy Drakma wants to get his hands on the invention and he sends his henchmen to attack Holt in his laboratory.