Sandy Kenyon

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

The film portrays MacArthur's life from 1942, before the Battle of Bataan, to 1952, when he was removed from his Korean War command by President Truman for insubordination, and is recounted in flashback as he visits West Point.

A free-spirited young woman, Breezy, hitches a ride with an aging real estate salesman, Frank. Sensing that she just wants to use him he tries to have nothing to do with her. She's not that easy to shake, however, and over time a bond forms between them.

Nevada Smith is the alias of Max Sand, the son of an Indian mother and American father. When they are killed by three men over gold, Nevada sets out to avenge them. The young man is taken in by a gun merchant who shows him how to shoot, on time and correctly.

Tom Sawyer and his pal Huckleberry Finn have great adventures on the Mississippi River, pretending to be pirates, attending their own funeral, and witnessing a murder.

In this unusually accurate biography, small-time hood Al Capone comes to Chicago at the dawn of Prohibition to be the bodyguard of racketeer Johnny Torrio. Capone's rise in Chicago gangdom is followed through murder, extortion, and political fraud. He becomes head of Chicago's biggest "business," but moves inexorably toward his downfall and ignominious end.

In the wild west con-man 'Candy' Johnson heads to Nevada to set up his own gambling den and teams up with Lucy Cotton, a young woman he meets there. This failed television pilot film is loosely based on Honky Tonk (1941), which starred Clark Gable.

Mr. Jack and Sweet Stephen cruise aimlessly through the streets of LA speculating about life, death, divine will and the force of power that predetermines their existence. Mr. Jack attempts to illustrate to his sidekick the delicate and natural forces of the universe. Sweet Stephen's superficial charm and bloodsucking lifestyle sends him and Mr. Jack on a voyage that is relentless, engaging, and darkly hilarious.

Navy frogman Ted Jackson balances his time between twin careers as a deep-sea diver and nightclub singer. During a dive, Ted spots sunken treasure and returns with the hope to retrieve it.

Horror and suspense in the story of a psychotic maniac who literally "loves" women to death.

The first TV special starring the rotund comic strip staple Garfield the Cat. Here, he and his dull-witted canine cohort Odie end up at the pound.

Two drifters, of widely varying backgrounds, rustle cattle and try to avoid being caught in contemporary Montana.

When she was raped, Ellen thought it was the worst thing to ever happen to her. What was worse, was the treatment by the hospital staff, police and the court system, when she reported it, and the man was caught.

40 years after The Dick Van Dyke Show (1961), Alan Brady wants to hire Rob and Sally to write his eulogy - in order to win a bet with his wife. Although they don't want to do it, he offers them a huge amount of money. If Rob takes the job, Laura could open her dream dance studio.

The blacksmith of a small western town finds himself an outcast. He had led the townspeople west in hopes of starting a new life, only to find the town that they founded is to be bypassed by the railroad.

The first interplanetary cruise ship malfunctions halfway to Jupiter, forcing most of the crew and passengers to abandon ship. A handful of people are trapped onboard.

In 1930s, hard-working girl Betty Boop sings at nights at her uncle Mischa's popular NY nightclub and dreams of marrying a posh rich playboy, Waldo. Gangster Johnny "Throat" and a nice hard-working ice-seller, Freddy, also woo her.

In the South, convicts get a temporary release to help during a flood.

Sand devises a scheme to murder his former business partner and maintains his innocence throughout the trial, as he is prosecuted by District Attorney Travis Logan.

The weakling sheriff of a small southwestern town allows a Mexican teenager to be lynched by a local mob for a crime he may not have committed.

Hunters set out to catch the legendary Scottish monster that has defied explanation and eluded capture since the 1940s.

The commander of a spaceship orbiting 250 miles above Earth disappears through the airlock and is ejected into space. Although at first it appears to have been an accident, some of the crew come to suspect that it may have actually been a murder.

After his Rangers are caught during a raid, a major must infiltrate the French army to save his men.

When James and Janet Marston find, after the birth of their second son, that they can have no more they decide to adopt. The result is a huge family of up to sixty children of all nationalities, races and creeds and some with physical and mental disabilities. Their happiness, however, is not to continue without problems...