His New Profession

A shipowner intends to scuttle his ship on its last voyage to get the insurance money. Charlie, a tramp in love with the owner's daughter, is grabbed by the captain and promises to help him shanghai some seamen. The daughter stows away to follow Charlie. Charlie assists in the galley and attempts to serve food during a gale.

Three Chaplin silent comedies "A Dog's Life", "Shoulder Arms", and "The Pilgrim" are strung together to form a single feature length film. Chaplin provides new music, narration, and a small amount of new connecting material. "Shoulder Arms" is now described as taking place in a time before "the atom bomb".

Two disruptive theater patrons, the wealthy drunk Mr. Pest (played by Charlie Chaplin) and the rowdy working-class Mr. Rowdy (also played by Chaplin), attend a live vaudeville theater production. Their constant antics, seat-hopping, and physical altercations quickly overshadow the acts on stage and plunge the entire theater into absolutely hilarious chaos.

Edna's father wants her to marry wealthy Count He-Ha. Charlie, Edna's true love, impersonates the Count at dinner, but the real Count shows up and Charlie is thrown out. Later on Charlie and Edna are chased by her father, The Count, and three policeman. The pursuers drive off a pier.

Oliver is making plans to marry his sweetheart Dulcy with Stan as his best man, but the plans are thwarted when Dulcy's father sees a picture of Ollie and forbids the marriage. The couple plan to elope, and run away to a Justice of the Peace. After typical Laurel and Hardy blundering, they manage to sneak the girl away from her father's house.

Laurel and Hardy try to entertain a female neighbor, unbeknown to Hardy’s wife.

Stan and Ollie join the French Foreign Legion after Ollie's sweetheart rejects him.

Although they are successful fishmongers, Stan convinces Ollie that they should become fishermen too, but making a boat seaworthy isn't an easy task.

Stan and Ollie are greeting card salesmen who agree to help a woman put a spark in her loveless marriage by making her husband jealous.

Buster and a woman are mistakenly married and her initially unfriendly family begins to treat him nicely when they come to believe he has a large inheritance awaiting him.

Down and out Stan and Ollie beg for food from a friendly old lady who provides them with sandwiches. While eating, they overhear the lady's landlord tell her he's going to throw her out because she can't pay her mortgage. They don't realize that the old lady is really rehearsing for a play. Stan and Ollie decide to help the old lady by selling their car. During the auction a drunk puts a wallet in Stan's pocket. Ollie accuses Stan of robbing the old lady, but when the truth is revealed Stan takes revenge on Ollie.

Barbershop owners Stan and Ollie answer an ad in the newspaper from a wealthy widow looking for a husband. Ollie only mails in his response and is invited to the widow's mansion. Stan discovers his unmailed letter and insists on tagging along. At the mansion, the widow's creepy butler informs them that the woman is crazy. She was once jilted by an Oliver and now her hobby is marrying Olivers and then slitting their throats. Now the boys must figure out how to escape.