I'll Not Become a Gangster, Dear

When an upwardly mobile couple find themselves unemployed and in debt, they turn to armed robbery in desperation.

A struggling writer in the midst of a divorce befriends a retired serial killer who incidentally becomes his marriage counselor by day, and killing counselor for his next book by night.

Mike Fallon, the Accident Man, is a stone cold killer. When a loved one is murdered by his own crew, Fallon is forced to avenge the one person who actually meant something to him.

On an ordinary night, in an ordinary part of town, a beautiful young woman walks into a bar. Her name is Jewel, and before long she is chatting to bartender Randy. The pair leave together, but he ends up getting into a tussle with her criminal boyfriend, who she then shoots dead, later persuading Randy to take the rap for her. But this isn't the end of it, as both Randy's cousin Carl and the detective assigned to the murder case also fall for Jewel's charms and find themselves caught up in the ensuing events. It seems that any man who meets Jewel falls instantly in love with her, and she's going to use this fully to her own advantage, leaving a trail of havoc in her wake. It also seems that she is going to get away with it - that is, until Randy decides to hire a hitman...

When penniless con-artist Marge Bouvier is sent to Italy to convince wealthy sap Seymour Skinner to come home, she's tempted by the trappings of his affluent lifestyle. But there’s a big fat fly in the ointment: Skinner's clingy, dim-witted mooch of a houseguest, Homer Simpsley. Lies, lust and Italian lira are abound.

Charles Dreyfus, who has finally cracked over inspector Clouseau's antics, escapes from a mental institution and launches an elaborate plan to get rid of Clouseau once and for all.

Harlem's African-American population is being ripped off by the Rev. Deke O'Malley, who dishonestly claims that small donations will secure parcels of land in Africa. When New York City police officers Gravedigger Jones and Coffin Ed Johnson look into O'Malley's scam, they learn that the cash is being smuggled inside a bale of cotton. However, the police, O'Malley, and lots of others find themselves scrambling when the money goes missing.

Broke and depressed, Ray is mistaken for a dangerous hitman and given an envelope of cash. Along with his P.I. friend Skip, he must escape the actual hitman to make it out of LaRoy alive.

While doing the inventory for a lingerie outlet in a high rise office building, five attractive women are terrorized by a series of bizarre killings. They suspect that the strange janitor, who witnessed another series of killings six months previously, is at the bottom of the whole thing. Little do they know the real horror that they face in the end.

Unbridled comic Chris D'Elia reconsiders his approach to major life events like marriage, not having kids and buying pants for your friends.

A stroke of good luck turns lethal for Sam Phelan and his wife Leslie when they are faced with a life-changing decision that brings strange and sinister Pyke Kubic to their doorstep. As Pyke leads Sam and Leslie on a tumultuous adventure through the streets of Chicago, each are pulled deeper and deeper into a desperate spiral of deception and violence – all in the name of money.

A group of bad cops look to dispose of a body that one of them accidentally shot.