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To escape from a mobster, businessman Gaetano Proclo orders a cab driver to take him to a place where he can't be found. Unfortunately for Gaetano, the place turns out to be a gay bathhouse.

Stan and Ollie are musicians attempting to travel by train to Pottsville.

Two families embark on a pleasant Sunday picnic but manage to run into a variety of issues with their temperamental automobile. Each incident requires repeated exits and reboardings by Laurel, Hardy, their wives and grouchy, gout-ridden Uncle Edgar.

Angela Arden is a washed up, has-been singing star who is trapped in a hateful marriage to film producer Sol Sussman. In an attempt to escape her marriage so that she can be with a hunky layabout, she poisons her husband. However, Angela's manipulative daughter, gay son and alcoholic maid are not going to make it easy for her.

Donald is an admiral on a seagoing voyage with his nephews in which they encounter a ravenous shark.

Policeman Edgar Kennedy is told by his chief he better stop a string of burglaries that have been happening on his watch or else he will get the sack. He persuades vagrants Stan and Ollie to rob the chief's house so he can regain his reputation by catching them. The policeman promises to later get the boys off. Things do not go as planned.

Teenager Deacon works at a video shop, and his buddies, Fred and Matt, sell the bootleg porno films he acquires. Deacon gets fired, but the pals have the bright idea of filming their own Internet porn flick in order to make money and become more popular at school. Hijinks ensue as they cast and create their movie, but porn industry player Vic Ramalot grows jealous of their burgeoning success and tries to put a stop to the project.

A group of teens hit the road in a stolen driver's ed car, racing against time to help a lovesick high school senior track down his college-freshman girlfriend and win her back.

A documentary filmmaker interviews the now-famous Trevor Slattery from behind bars.

Donald has to get up early, but everything seems to be working to keep him awake. His loudly ticking alarm clock resists several attempts to quiet it. Donald ultimately swallows it; the glow-in-the-dark dial can be seen through his feathers. Then his folding bed folds up on him. Springs start popping out of it; Donald builds an elaborate framework to hold it down. Finally, enough of the clock reassembles itself to sound the alarm and night is over.

Stan and Ollie join the French Foreign Legion after Ollie's sweetheart rejects him.

Stan and Ollie arrive as new inmates at a prison after apparently taking part in a hold-up raid, a raid they tell a prison officer they were only watching. The usual mayhem ensues.