If I Had Legs I'd Kick You poster

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

Everything is under control.

6.3(450)20251h 53m8

With her life crashing down around her, Linda attempts to navigate her child's mysterious illness, her absent husband, a missing person, and an increasingly hostile relationship with her therapist.

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Status
Released
Budget
$1.5M
Box office
$1.7M
Language
English
  • hotel
  • therapist
  • long island, new york
  • female protagonist
  • sick child
  • motherhood
  • woman director
  • absent husband
  • psychological drama
  • mysterious illness
  • montauk
  • parenting stress

Top billed cast

Behind the camera

Produced in

United States of America

Gallery

Still from If I Had Legs I'd Kick YouStill from If I Had Legs I'd Kick YouStill from If I Had Legs I'd Kick YouStill from If I Had Legs I'd Kick YouStill from If I Had Legs I'd Kick YouStill from If I Had Legs I'd Kick YouStill from If I Had Legs I'd Kick YouStill from If I Had Legs I'd Kick YouStill from If I Had Legs I'd Kick YouStill from If I Had Legs I'd Kick YouStill from If I Had Legs I'd Kick YouStill from If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

Videos

Release dates

  • United StatesUS

    • PremiereSundance Film Festival24 Jan 2025
    • PremiereTelluride Film Festival30 Aug 2025
    • PremiereFantastic Fest21 Sept 2025
    • PremiereBeyond Fest26 Sept 2025
    • PremiereNew York Film Festival2 Oct 2025
    • PremiereHamptons International Film Festival4 Oct 2025
    • PremiereMill Valley Film Festival10 Oct 2025
    • Theatrical (limited)RNew York City, New York / Los Angeles, California10 Oct 2025
    • PremiereChicago International Film Festival16 Oct 2025
    • Theatrical (limited)RLimited Expansion17 Oct 2025
    • PremierePhiladelphia Film Festival19 Oct 2025
    • TheatricalR24 Oct 2025
    • Digital / OTTR18 Nov 2025
    • Digital / OTTRHBO Max30 Jan 2026
    • TVRHBO31 Jan 2026
    • PhysicalRBlu-ray26 May 2026
  • United KingdomGB

    • PremiereBFI London Film Festival13 Oct 2025
    • PremiereBelfast Film Festival4 Nov 2025
    • Theatrical1520 Feb 2026
    • Physical15Second Sight 4k Ultra HD Blu-ray / Blu-ray 7 Dec 2026
  • AustraliaAU

    • PremiereMMelbourne International Film Festival7 Aug 2025
    • PremiereMAdelaide Film Festival17 Oct 2025
    • PremiereMSXSW Sydney18 Oct 2025
    • PremiereMCapital Film Festival1 Nov 2025
    • TheatricalM13 Nov 2025
  • CanadaCA

    • PremiereToronto International Film Festival12 Sept 2025
    • PremiereCalgary International Film Festival21 Sept 2025
    • PremiereVancouver International Film Festival2 Oct 2025
    • Theatrical (limited)Montréal, Quebec / Toronto, Ontario / Vancouver, British Columbia17 Oct 2025
    • Digital / OTT18 Nov 2025
  • BelgiumBE

    • PremiereOstend Film Festival31 Jan 2026
    • Theatrical4 Mar 2026
  • BrazilBR

    • PremiereRio de Janeiro International Film Festival3 Oct 2025
    • Theatrical161 Jan 2026
    • Digital / OTT1612 Mar 2026
  • ChinaCN

    • PremiereBeijing International Film Festival19 Apr 2026
  • ColombiaCO

    • Theatrical29 Jan 2026
  • CzechiaCZ

    • PremiereKarlovy Vary International Film Festival4 Jul 2025
    • Theatrical12+23 Apr 2026
  • EstoniaEE

    • Theatrical21 Nov 2025
  • FinlandFI

    • Theatrical27 Mar 2026
    • PremiereHelsinki International Film Festival18 Sept 2026
  • GermanyDE

    • PremiereBerlin International Film Festival17 Feb 2025
    • Digital / OTTHBO Max29 May 2026

Frequently asked questions

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You was released on 10 October 2025.

Audience reviews

3
  • B

    Brent Marchant

    11/29/2025

    9/10

    In an age where life’s everyday challenges can test our wits, becoming overwhelmed is a real possibility when they pile up. Just ask Linda (Rose Byrne), a therapist who struggles to sincerely and sensitively assist her troubled patients. But that’s just the start of her problems. She’s also tending to a sick child (Delaney Quinn), the demands of which are considerable, both from the whiny, often-unappreciative youngs…

  • C

    CinemaSerf

    3/6/2026

    6/10

    Rose Byrne turns in a terrific performance here, but I found the thrust of the plot to be just a bit too much like a contrived horror movie. She is “Linda”, a therapist whose husband is off piloting a boat and whose un-named daughter has some form of undefined illness that is putting huge pressure on her mother. Then, just to add to her woes, a water leak in their apartment turns her ceiling into a Swiss cheese and f…

  • B

    badelf

    6/15/2026

    10/10

    With truly sincere apologies to Almodóvar, the alternate title to this film could be "Woman in the Throes of a Nervous Breakdown." Mary Bronstein's debut feature captures the absolute insanity of raising a child in this time and place with such visceral precision that watching it feels less like cinema and more like surviving someone else's panic attack in real time. Rose Byrne plays Linda, a therapist whose life …

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