Don't Suck

Reclusive vampires lounge in a lonely American town. They wear sunscreen to protect themselves. A descendant of Van Helsing arrives with hilarious consequences.

An LA vampire hunter has a week to come up with the cash to pay for his kid's tuition and braces. Trying to make a living these days just might kill him.

In the heart of Styria the Karnstein Family, even after their mortal deaths, rise from their tombs spreading evil in the countryside in their lust for fresh blood. Baron Hartog whose family are all victims of Karnstein vampirism, opens their graves and drives a stake through their diabolical hearts. One grave he cannot locate is that of the legendary beautiful Mircalla Karnstein. Years of peace follow that grisly night until Mircalla reappears to avenge her family's decimation and satisfy her desire for blood.

The film follows a petty rock band called the Winners, consisting of vocalist Joey Winner, bassist Jennifer, guitarist Tyler, drummer Sam, and French-Canadian roadie Hugo, along with their sleazy manager Jeff, as they tour across Canada and the USA after Jennifer is turned into a vampire by Queeny. Meanwhile, a vampire hunter who is afraid of the dark named Eddie Van Helsing quickly chases them down.

A duo of bisexual female vampires prey on passing motorists, whom they seduce and murder in the English countryside.

Marie is a vampire with a thirst for bad guys. When she fails to properly dispose of one of her victims, a violent mob boss, she bites off more than she can chew and faces a new, immortal danger.

When his home of New Eden is destroyed by a revitalized Brotherhood and its new Vamp leader, Martin finds himself alone in the badlands of America with only the distant memory of his mentor and legendary vampire hunter, Mister, to guide him.

After a debt-collector finds a portal to hell in a washing machine at his local laundromat, he’s propositioned into feeding it sinners to save his neighbor’s soul, maybe even at the expense of his own.

Two fraternity pledges go to a sleazy bar in search of a stripper for their college friends, unaware it is occupied by vampires.

A farm boy reluctantly becomes a member of the undead when a girl he meets turns out to be part of a band of vampires who roam the highways in stolen cars.

Charley Brewster, a high school student, accidentally discovers the true and creepy nature of Jerry Dandrige, his dashing and enigmatic new neighbor; but no one seems willing to believe him.

A teenager suspects his new neighbour is a vampire. Unable to convince anyone, he tries to enlist the help of a self-proclaimed vampire hunter and magician.