Merry XXX-mas

Whenever it becomes known how good he is with guns, ex-gunman George and his wife Dora have to flee the town, in fear of all the gunmen who might want to challenge him. Unfortunately he again spills his secret when he's drunk. All citizens swear to keep his secret and support him to give up his guns forever -- but a boy tells the story to a gang of wanted criminals. Their leader threatens to burn down the whole town, if he doesn't duel him.

After a failed bank robbery, two heavily armed men hold the Los Angeles Police Department at bay for 44 minutes.

Affable hit man Melvin Smiley is constantly being scammed by his cutthroat colleagues in the life-ending business. So, when he and his fellow assassins kidnap the daughter of an electronics mogul, it's naturally Melvin who takes the fall when their prime score turns sour. That's because the girl is the goddaughter of the gang's ruthless crime boss. But, even while dodging bullets, Melvin has to keep his real job secret from his unsuspecting fiancée, Pam.

Police Chief Jesse Stone's relationship with his ex-wife worsens, and he fears he's relapsing into alcoholism. To get his mind off his problems, Jesse begins working on the unsolved murder of a bank teller shot during a robbery. Also, his investigation of an alleged rape draws him into conflict with the town council — which hopes to preserve Paradise's reputation as an ideal seaside resort.

Jesse Stone is a former L.A. homicide detective who left behind the big city and an ex-wife to become the police chief of the quiet New England fishing town of Paradise. Stone's old habits die hard as he continues to indulge his two favorite things: Scotch whiskey and women. After a series of murders, the first ever in Paradise, and a high school girl is raped he's forced to face his own demons in order to solve the crimes.

In the anarchic town of Seaside, nowhere near the sea, puppeteers Judy and Punch are trying to resurrect their marionette show. The show is a hit due to Judy's superior puppeteering but Punch's driving ambition and penchant for whisky lead to an inevitable tragedy that Judy must avenge.

Howard Langston, a salesman for a mattress company, is constantly kept busy at his job, disappointing his son. After he misses his son's karate exposition, Howard vows to make it up to him by buying an action figure of his son's favorite television hero for Christmas. Unfortunately for Howard, it is Christmas Eve, and every store is sold out of Turbo Man. Now, Howard must travel all over town and compete with everybody else to find a Turbo Man action figure.

A former special forces contractor is forced out of retirement as an avocado farmer in Mexico when local gangsters try to force him and his family off their farm.

A group of 30-year-olds who have been friends since high school attempt to throw an end-of-summer orgy.

A Christmas elf accidentally takes off in Santa's sleigh, crash lands in a small town, and loses the magic toy bag. Beethoven must rescue the elf, recover the bag from greedy crooks, and return the sleigh to Santa in time to save Christmas.

Police Chief Jesse Stone, who was suspended by the Paradise, Mass. Town Council, begins moonlighting for his friend, State Homicide Commander Healy, by investigating a series of murders in Boston, leaving Rose and Suitcase to handle a crime spree in Paradise on their own. Jesse pours his energy into his work in an effort to push away his twin demons: booze and women. When his investigation leads to notorious mob boss Gino Fish, Jesse's pursuit becomes hazardous.

Billy Wong is a New York City cop whose partner is gunned down during a robbery. Billy and his new partner, Danny Garoni, are working security at a fashion show when a wealthy man's daughter, Laura Shapiro, is kidnapped. The Federal authorities suspect that Laura's father is involved with Mr. Ko, a Hong Kong drug kingpin, so the NYC police commissioner sends the two cops to Hong Kong to investigate.